For those who want to be Eurocrats...

by San Shopanza

In 2004 the EPSO (European Personal Selection Office) announced the recruitment of "administrators" from my home country. So I applied for the job.

Almost a year after I had sent my application file (the preparation of which took me 3 months since they obviously needed everything, from my birth certificate to my life permit), I received the good news...I couldn't believe it! My application had passed the pre-selection procedure! And with only 53.678 competitors left!

The 'concours'
So I prepared myself for the written selection test, the so-called 'concours'. I bought all the books and learned everything by heart.

When I say everything, I mean everything. I knew all about the EU, its history, its policies, its personalities. I knew all the European leaders, the Commissioners, the heads of the European institutions. I knew about their tasks, their past, their families, their friends. I knew their favourite food and their sexual preferences. So I was ready!

And then came the day of the 'concours'. Since we were so many, the exam took place in Brussels' Heysel Stadium. We had to arrive 2 hours before because of the registration. I had to queue in an enormous line for 1 hour and then I had another hour to find my place. Not an easy task with 53.678 seats.

Meanwhile, a guy on a podium was yelling rules of conduct down on us. He had a megaphone and told us what we were not allowed to do. Since we were not allowed to do anything I decided to name him 'Concentration-Camp-Erhard'.

It seemed surreal: Concentration-Camp-Erhard yelling at 49.999 competitors (3.679 didn't come, which made me really happy - my chances of success had increased without my doing anything). He was also yelling at around 50.000 spectators on the tribune (many family members and friends had come to cheer and support those close to them). All this intermingled into an incredibly loud, but indistinct noise. Above the stadium an airy mist was forming from our body heats.

Concentration-Camp-Erhard opened the 'concours' by shooting in the air with a real gun. The crowd started howling and we, the competitors, opened our envelopes containing the questions.

I must say it went quite well for me, compared to those who had to give up: many fainted ( 49.978); one shot himself on the podium with Concentration-Camp-Erhard's gun (49.977 - I still think he wanted to bluff and assumed the gun was not real).

Yet what really disturbed me was that incredible noise coming from the spectators, together with the continuous wailing of the ambulance sirens. I have had slight audition problems since that day.

It also became a little chaotic with the thunderstorm. We and the papers were totally soaked by the pouring rain and one of the competitors got hit by a lightning bolt (49.976). This caused a certain panic. 20 were trampled to death ( 49.956) and Concentration-Camp-Erhard had to shoot 5 to restore order (49.951). My chances were increasing by the minute.

The test was easier than I thought. The only 2 questions I couldn't answer were the date of Commissioner Verheugen's plastic surgeon's conviction for alcoholism at work, and the name of Commission President Barroso's pet guinea pig. Damn it! I thought the guinea pig's name was 'Snoopy'. In fact it was 'Pooky'. (As to the plastic surgeon, I honestly didn't know he had been convicted. I have never understood what he had done wrong.)

Imagining becoming a European civil servant
In the following months after the exam, I couldn't stop imagining what would happen if I passed the 'concours'. My name, I dreamed, would be added to that famous EPSO-list, and I would be ready to be employed by any Head of Unit in one of the institutions.

Yet in order to be recruited, I would have to get the attention of at least one Head of Unit. So I would have to stalk around his office in flashy clothes, call him at home in the middle of the night, jump before his car, run naked through his garden... It could be a long wait. And one would have to stick one's head and swirl it around deep inside.

But then I imagined the day I would be hired. Me becoming a European civil servant! Wow!

I saw myself in a huge office surrounded by beautiful East and South European female colleagues all looking either like Carmen Kass or Penelope Cruz. And I would be responsible for something great, like protection of the environment. I would be some kind of hero, some kind of 'environment Frodo' fighting against the industrial 'Saurons'. And I would become the most famous civil servant of my unit, of my department, of my Directorate General.

I imagined how I would even become a Director General. No, not a Commissioner, but a Director General. Commissioners still have to pretend they are nice. Not Directors General. Have you ever seen a Director General? It is difficult to spot one because they are as rare as Komodo dragons. And they look like dragons too. Like them, Directors General don't have natural enemies; they become very big, very self-confident and even dangerous to humans.

Broken dreams
But then, a sudden answer from EPSO abruptly ended my dreams. I had failed the 'concours'. I had missed it for 'Pooky'.

I must admit, it almost destroyed me. I started drinking over night and in the mornings. Unable to give up my civil servant dreams, I went to cafés close to EU buildings to watch the elite, those who would know Barroso's Guinea pig's name, walking to their offices.

You can't imagine how I envied them. "Why couldn't I be one of them? Bloody, bloody 'Pooky'!" I thought.

After a while however, when I was about to turn into a Guinea pig killer, I noticed that many of the civil servants, who went to work in the morning, didn't really look happy. On the contrary, most of them actually really seemed depressed with empty faces. How could it be? They worked in an international environment, earned loads of money and drove the standard European-civil-servants-cars, the Volvos. "You must be endlessly happy with that!" I internally screamed.

The true meaning of being a European civil servant
But continuing my daily observations, I slowly began to understand:
European civil servants didn't have huge offices; they had tiny little Guinea pigs' cages.
European civil servants were not 'environment Frodos'; they worked on the harmonisation of Guinea pigs' sizes.
European civil servants didn't get rightly promoted; they had either the wrong nationality or the wrong friends.
European civil servants didn't have interesting lives; they were eternally exposed to non-danger and couldn't even die in car crashes; they were driving Volvos.
European civil servants didn't have the fundamental freedom to choose another occupation; they needed European civil servants' salaries to keep up with huge house loans and Volvos.
Female European civil servants didn't look like Kass or Cruz; they looked like that Komodo-dragon-lady from the show 'The Weakest Link'.

This understanding made me free and alive again. I was happy, stopped drinking and found a job as a postman. "Who the hell wants to become a European civil servant?" I thought...

It was totally unintended when, recently, I had another glimpse at European civil servants' salaries and allowances.

Instantly, I started studying for next year's 'concours'.

Hey, hey!!!!!!!!!

Nice of you guys for taking the test on Macedonia :) I hope that you will come here some day, well Jens has already visited Skopje, but I don’t know about Ohrid. Axxx, yes Indira has been in Ohrid as little :) And for the others here are some pictures from Ohrid Lake, the oldest lake in Europe (if they appear)!!

Hugsss to all!!!

Bibi

Are we slaves of our companies?

I found this interesting article (Non-billable hour...) on Knowledge Workers (us) and the attitude of companies towards them. It's a bit long so please don't read it during your work hours and then blame me for being fired because of me :)

cheers.

Human Capital (not Cattle) by guest blogger Ron Baker.

In the knowledge society, the most probable assumption for organizations--and certainly the assumption on which they have to conduct their affairs--is that they need knowledge workers far more than knowledge workers need them.
-Peter Drucker

The term human capital was first used by Nobel Price-winning economist Theodore W. Schultz in a 1961 article in American Economic Review.  His basic thesis was that investments in human capital should be accounted for in the same manner as investments in plant and machinery. 

The obvious challenge is that investments in tangible, physical assets can be counted and comprehended, but those in people cannot.  It is as if accountants would value the average human being at $50 since that is the approximate worth of our various chemical components.  Human capital is like the dark matter of the cosmos, we know it's out there but we can't measure it. 

Once again, Peter Drucker was at the forefront of thought when he coined both the terms knowledge society and knowledge worker in 1961 and positing it was the G.I. Bill of Rights--which made available higher education to some 2,332,000 veterans and was certainly the largest single investment in human capital up to that time--which caused the shift to a knowledge society. 

Presently, less than one-fifth of the labor force is employed in blue collar occupations, and approximately two-fifths are "knowledge workers"--those who work with their heads, not their hands.

Knowledge Workers Have Nothing to Lose but Their Chains

Knowledge workers are not like workers from the Industrial Revolution who were dependent on the employing organization providing the means of production (factories and machines).  Today, knowledge workers themselves own the firm's means of production in their heads.  This has been a tectonic shift in our economy, the ramifications of which we are still trying to comprehend. 

For example, how does one measure the productivity of knowledge workers when what goes on inside their heads cannot be observed, let alone objectively measured?

In a factory, the worker serves the system; in a knowledge environment, the system should serve the worker.  Knowledge work can only be designed by the knowledge worker, not for them.  Unlike work on an assembly line, knowledge work is not defined by quantity but by quality.  It is also not defined by its costs, but by its results. 

It may be possible in a widget factory to work harder, but in a knowledge factory working smarter is the only option.  The traditional metrics of productivity need to be replaced by judgment, and there is an enormous difference between a measurement and a judgment:  a measurement requires only a stick; a judgment requires knowledge, insight, wisdom and discernment.

Knowledge Workers are Volunteers

There is a Chinese Proverb that teaches the beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names.  Your people are not assets, resources, or inventory, but human capital investors seeking a decent return on their investment.  

In fact, your people are actually volunteers, since whether or not they return to work on any given day is completely based on their own volition.  Consider for a moment how people decide which volunteer organizations to contribute some of their talent.  It's usually based on a desire to contribute to something larger than themselves.  They work hard--some would say harder than at their jobs--for these organizations because they are dedicated to the cause, they have the passion, the desire and the dream to make a difference in the lives of others.  All for zero pay.  Why? 

This is not just an economic decision, it is a psychological and emotional decision.  With all this evidence of human behavior, many firms still treat their people as if they will slack off if they're not held accountable for every six minutes of every day.  Is this any way to inspire people to be their best?  Is this any way to instill a spirit of service, creativity and innovation?

Or is this nothing but antiquated thinking about the nature of man being lazy and slothful unless forced to work, redolent of Frederick Taylor's time-and-motion studies?  Your people may hang their hat at your firm, but where is their heart?

Becoming A Lightning Rod for Talent

It doesn't make sense to hire smart people and then tell them what to do; we hire smart people so they can tell us what to do. – Steve Jobs, Founder, Apple Computer

Attracting, hiring, developing and retaining talent are the most important jobs to which everyone in the firm can contribute input and ideas.  Partners spend more of their time--or at least they should--making people decisions than any other.  No other decisions have as many repercussions throughout the firm, or have lasting significant effects than who to hire. 

Typically, a firm is batting 0.333 on its hiring decisions--that is, one-third turn out to be good decisions, one-third are minimally effective, and one-third are abject failures.  It is rare in any other area that firm leaders would accept this level of performance.

The issue of attracting Human Capital investors is a marketing issue.  As in all marketing, it does not look inward and ask, "What do we want and need?"  On the contrary, it looks outward and asks, "What do you want and need?"  There is an enormous difference between these two approaches. 

In effect, firms have to do the same to win over people as they do to gain new customers--show them why the firm is their best competitive alternative. 

Because knowledge workers are investing their Intellectual Capital with firms that will pay a fair return, the question should not be, "How much is this person worth to the firm?"  The real questions are:  "How much is the firm worth to this knowledge worker?  How can the firm add to this person's Intellectual Capital, and develop it even further?"

A New Order of the Ages

Characteristics like passion, desire, obsession, motivation, innovation, creativity and knowledge may not show up anywhere on a firm's financial statements or timesheets, but they are the traits that will ultimately determine the fate of your firm.  Knowledge work is non-linear and not subject to the cadences and rhythms of an assembly line; rather it moves by iteration and reiteration, a process of the mind. 

My favorite one dimensional test for creating a culture worthy of the respect and dignity of the people you are trying to attract is simply this:  Would you want your son or daughter to work in your firm?

My colleague Dan Morris flies a flag over his firm's office building with its name and logo in three colors.  It is interesting to me because when I first saw it, I recalled those who first called themselves liberals--in the classical definition of the word--had in mind three liberations (which explains why the appropriate liberal flag is always tricolore).  

They intended, first, to liberate humans from tyranny and torture; second, to liberate humans from poverty; and, third, to liberate humans from censorship and other oppressions of conscience, intellect, and art.

It is time we hoist a new flag over The Firm of the Future and usher in a new order of the ages, one that respects the dignity, and earns the rewards, of its Human Capital investors.

Finally

Test yourself on this link

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4687276.stm

even if you don’t know the answer, later on, the answers will be given and you can learn something new

Cheers,


P.S. Val sorry again, I will not forget the beer or vodka or……..

Cartoons debate...

I expect some hot discussions here...

SPIEGEL ONLINE - February 4, 2006, 09:30 PM
URL: www.spiegel.de

Opinion

European Arrogance Versus Muslim Fanaticism

By Jürgen Gottschlich in Istanbul

The cartoon battle touches on one of the most important questions of our time -- freedom of expression, Ibn Warraq wrote Friday on SPIEGEL ONLINE. Jürgen Gottschlich, a journalist living in Istanbul offers his rebuttal: Many Muslims are sick and tired of being unfairly labeled as bin Laden sympathizers.

In the beginning, everything seemed simple. An author had trouble finding artists willing to create a few humorous drawings to illustrate a book he was writing about the Prophet Muhammad. Taking its cue from Germany's tabloid Bild -- infamous for launching populist crusades of its own -- Denmark's largest-circulation newspaper Jyllands-Posten took on the challenge. It called on Danish cartoonists to find the cajones to finally take on the dim-witted mullahs, potential honor killers and "goat fuckers" and tell them what they really thought.

Graphically, of course, so that these illiterates could understand.

After all, this is beautiful Denmark, where, thankfully, for the past few years we've stopped letting these people sponge off our social system. The policy was a total success. The intended recipients of the message got it loud and clear. And they even responded with the expected howls of indignation. They ran to the government and to the courts -- just so they could be officially told: This is how things work around here in Denmark. Prime Minister Anders Fogh Rasmussen was thrilled and saw no reason whatsoever to rebuke the heroic free speech champions at Jyllands-Posten. For their part, the courts essentially ruled that Denmark should have the freedom of opinion necessary to finally show the Muslims who really has the upper hand.

Europe's most xenophobic government

Indeed, since taking office the motto of Denmark's right-leaning government has essentially been: If you don't fit into to our society, then go back where you came from. No other European government operates with such open xenophobia as the Danish. Voters like it, too. After all, they say to themselves, we're talking about immigrants who are really just freeloaders who don't share "our values."

Danish Muslims, who have had this message pounded into their heads for far too long, finally got it. And they went "home." They couldn't find anyone in Denmark who would listen to them, so they left and sought support at the powerful Al-Aqsa mosque in Cairo, a major doctrinal center in Islam. Since then, the heroes of free speech have been shaking in their boots. No longer is the issue merely that of belittling an immigrant group. Now it's time for feigned apologies.

A number of free speech heroes in Europe saw a chance to profit from the situation and quickly postured as lighthouses of freedom. Nevertheless, Jyllands-Posten and Rasmussen are in a pinch -- they have no idea how to defuse the situation and escape it unscathed. Who knew, they must be asking themselves, that Muslims around the world would suddenly grow irate, boycott Danish products and commit acts of violence against Danish and -- thanks to the other heroes of free speech -- other European institutions. No, there's no way we could have expected that -- it's totally surreal. Over a few caricatures? This can't be real! We have to be allowed to draw cartoons. Of course, anything is allowed if people are stupid enough to cross the line.

In a short interview on the German public broadcaster ZDF, Al-Jazeera's German correspondent got straight to the point. For many years, Europe's Muslim immigrants have had the feeling, that they are constantly being criticized and that they no longer enjoy any respect whatsoever. This powder keg of frustration and anger is overflowing and any action could set it off. And that's just how Muslim immigrants in Europe feel. And that's also how Muslims elsewhere feel. There's a general feeling among Muslims that they are regarded by the West as Osama bin Laden's secret sympathizers.

Poverty vs. arrogance?

Even in a secular Muslim country like Turkey, where only a few members of hardcore religious parties demonstrated at the Danish embassy in Istanbul, frustration with "the West" has grown in recent years. A lot of that has to do with the reaction of a large part of Europe to Turkey's desire to join the European Union. And it also has to do with the way in which the West's leading power has acted in Iraq. But while Turkey may have kept its composure, the Danes have sent sparks flying in many other Muslim countries. Just as there are heroes of free speech in Denmark, there are also heroes -- from the Arabian Peninsula to North Africa to Indonesia -- who are ready to take to the barricades to defend their prophet's dignity.

THE CARTOON JIHAD: THE ARAB WORLD PROTESTS Click on a picture to launch the image gallery (10 Photos).

So have we reached the long talked about clash of civilizations? If we keep working at it, we may soon enough. On the one side, you have religious fanaticism and poverty -- on the other you have arrogance and people who fear for their own prosperity. Taken together, it's a highly explosive mix. Instead of participating in a disingenuous battle for free speech, it is high time for some in Europe to return to the virtues of Enlightenment to help them find reason. The situation is difficult enough already and there are idiots on all sides. Indeed, neither is free of guilt.

One can only hope that people will listen to the voice of reason that came from the United Nations headquarters on Friday. Secretary General Kofi Annan urged Arabs to accept the apology given by the editors of Jyllands-Posten and said: "I share the distress of the Muslim friends who feel that the cartoon offends their religion. I also respect the right of freedom of speech. But of course freedom of speech is never absolute. It entails responsibility and judgment."

Both have been seriously lacking of late.

1 year of Cyberville

It's almost a year since Agni Papageorgiou was re-elected as mayor of Cyberville. Can Mayor Papageorgiou comment on the progress and results in this year?

Please visit Cyberville's official website: http://cyberville.atspace.com

cheers!

We have 100... hits!

Three days passed since a web counter was set on our blog. And in only 3 days we have already over 100 hits! [again, I'm getting excited about some nerdy stuff]

So, please keep it alive and keep on visiting and posting!

Cheers.

PS For those in Brussels - we'll celebrate our 100th hit tomorrow night chez Lorna, Dominik, and Rob's.

Get to know Moldova...

Even though you all studied with a Moldova, it does not mean that you know Moldova, as I am not a very good representative of my true homeland. I found today a blog of an American Peace Corps volunteer who teaches Health Education in a village somewhere in the middle of nowhere in Moldova in which he describes different stories of his day-to-day life there. Here is story where he describes the differences between the US and Moldova (for more stories, please visit: http://baladofthesunrising.blogspot.com).

Moldovan life has brought many Americans here to accept numerous aspects of existence, which in the US would either be intolerable or something you cannot stop staring at, to be everyday and normal. On special request from an avid reader I have compiled a list of some of these things:

On Food:

In the US food is amazingly available: what you want, when you want it, and it tastes good. In Moldova: if you want cookies you have to wait for the cow to come home; if you are in the mood for a flavorsome burrito you have to spend half of your living allowance and wait until you are in Chisinau; if cereal is what you desire, it would be who of you to learn karate and take your host mom out before fixing a bowl (this is after you have made a two hour trip to Chisinau to buy the product, and then waited until the cow came home); if ice-cream is what you had in mind you are in luck if you were wanting an individually wrapped drumstick; and most everything you wish to buy is done in the open-air market, in sub-zero temperatures, while arguing with a woman, in a foreign language, who outweighs you by 150 lbs and has a mustache.

In the US they generally put red sauce on your pizza, not mayonnaise and potatoes.

Here, corn is delicacy.

In the US, you typically do not have to be on the lookout for animal organs in your meal.

In Moldova Sour Cream and/or Mayonnaise go with everything.

In the States a particular pie is one of symbols of our country, large, round, filled with goodness, and more often than not tasty. In Moldova, Pie is also a symbol of their country, but it is usually the shape and size of small finger sandwiches, filled with lettuce, potatoes, or cheese and has the reputation of being a hit or miss on the deliciousness scale.

And apparently the greatest invention the US has created/embraced, until the next thing that seems very useful, has not been adopted in Moldova; there is no sliced bread here.


General:

In the states alcoholics are generally the only ones who drink before noon. Here, you drink before noon to have good health.

In the US the automobile is considered par for the course. In Moldova the automobile is not standard, neither are rubber tires on bikes or horse pulled carriages.

For those who do drive a car in Moldova, you will notice lacking upon the roads are useful traffic signs; those particularly involved with telling those operating the vehicle when to STOP and the speed of traffic.

In the US the thirty chickens you walk through on your way to the front gate do not really exist.

One thing you do realize while living in Moldova, is that other countries exist beyond the United States and Iraq. You can also here about them on the news, something unavailable in the great fifty.

White teeth are a common attribute lacking in Moldova, but the occasional or extremely prevalent all gold smile makes up for this lack of white shine.

Everything is done in the metric system.

In the states the police are our common defender against those who wish to break the law. Here, police are generally your biggest threat to safety.

Nobody speaks English

In most of our states your vote is counted, here you can generally assume the Communist candidate will win a majority of the votes, whether or not anyone voted.

To stay warm in the winter you do not have to rely on your ability to start a fire nor the quality of the coal you bought.

If you are hungry and want to eat something good you can order it, go out and pick it up, or cook it. Here, you must wait two years until you can go home.


Science and Technology:

In the US, science is looked at as a reasonable platform for basing an argument. Here science is the enemy, and to be viewed with caution. But nobody is upset about watching satellite TV and using internet cafes for porn.

In America when you turn the knob on the faucet, water comes out. Here, faucets and sinks are for show, and in anticipation of the possibility that someday they may get running water. (My host family has been waiting 15 years)



On Ethnicity:

Here all Asians are referred to as Korean or Vietnamese.

A person with black skin is "African" (no matter where they live), if the person saying the ethnicity is trying to be politically correct "African American" (no matter where they live); either way the person will definitely be pointed out and the color of their skin mentioned.

On Age:

In America someone my age is treated like an adult. The children here are under there parents supervision, they can go to college but are not allowed to make decisions without their parents, until Married. Therefore, being unmarried, Volunteers are treated like children as well. (by their host families)

On the Phone:

In the US, conversations on the phone do not usually take three to fifty attempts due to dropped calls.

The rotary dial is still in fashion.

Cell phones do not charge you by the second, and your monthly living allowance (in the US) is rarely spent on one phone call to two friends, who are in the same city, directing them to meet you at McDonalds after they left the city because they thought you wouldn't call, and then took an extremly long amount of time to make the decision on whether to return, but eventually doing so because they were drunk.

On Reaching Your Destination:

In America, people do not ask you, after you have arrived home and they are looking directly at you, if you have come home yet.

On Relieving Oneself:

On the other side of the pond one often takes the time to sit down while attempting the daily poop. In Moldova, you have to aim your shit while in sub-zero weather with a crosswind of 40 km/hr.

Finally... last graduation movie

Dear all,

Upon the requests of the many, with a very long delay, find under this
link Susan's movie of the EPA 2005's class presented during our
graduation ceremony last July.

To download the movie click this link: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=UWX9O62Q

Once on the website, on the upper right corner you'll see 'Wait 45
seconds' with a clock counting down. After you wait these 45 seconds
the screen will be covered by an add banner. Close this banner (don't
click on the banner itself by on the cross in the upper right corner
of the banner). Then click on 'Click here to download' and voila!

My apologies for making some of you wait for so long. I hope you'll
like it and you'll have a good flash back to the good times.

Cheers,

Val

New improvements on our blog

Dear fellow EPAists,

Just wanted to let you know that during my today's lunch time I added 2 new features to our blog:
1. NeoCounter - a tool that shows who's visiting our blog at the moment (country), how many are visiting it, and history of those who visited it. I thought it's a neat feature as you can see if Bibi, Marija, Agni, or anyone else from exotic locations are visiting our blog.
2. Web counter - a tool (on the bottom of the page) that shows how many people in total have visited our blog since today.

I hope you'll apreciate these new features with equal excitement as I do although not all of you share the passion of IT and internet as I do :)))

Have a great week and remember - Monday is almost weekend!

Ciao!

February musings

Hello all. Hope everyone is feeling chipper and having a nice February. We are off to the states on Wednesday to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary. This is our yearly pilgrimage back to Minnesota for relentless partying then to Florida, this time, sadly, to say goodbye to my beloved Auntie Ada, who at 91 seems to have decided to make her next really BIG transition from this small planet to hopefully somewhere glorious. We will be gone two weeks and will miss - Carnival!

Too bad, really, since the parade literally passes below our window. So knwoing how many of you enjoyed all the yellow, green and red trappings last year, as well as the libations that went with it - here's a little preview of rehersals. Spring is in the air!

Fete a Anvers (pix)

For those interested to see the pictures from Meghann's party in Antwerp from last month, you can download the zipped photos from here:

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=JA6AVYR0

Oh, Macedonia...

A lion and a llama died of cold in a zoo in southern Macedonia this week as polar temperatures gripped the country, zoo authorities said on Thursday.

For more read here: http://www.planetark.com/dailynewsstory.cfm/newsid/35011/story.htm

Human Dynamics

Hi everybody!
I am afraid this is a boring messege. In my job search (for Spain) I have seen this public sector consultant called Human Dynamics that looks quite nice. The headquarters are in Vienna, so I don't know if I will apply finally (after NL and this Milan/Siberia I need a sunny place) but they have office also in Sofia and other places. Some of you may be interested. I also want to know if any of you has ever heard of them to know if it would be worth moving to Austria. The website is www.humandynamics.org
Take care!
Love

It's finally working!

Finally, some joy in this boring and grey Belgian day. Email posting is working!

Outsourcing Presidency

US Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India as of January 22, 2006.

The move is being made to save the President's $400,000 yearly salary, and also a record $521 billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead the office has incurred during the last 5 years.

"We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost savings should be significant," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). Reynolds, with the aid of the Government Accounting Office, has studied outsourcing of American jobs extensively. "We cannot expect to remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.

Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of his termination. Preparations for the job move have been underway for sometime. Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India, will be assuming the office of President as of January 22nd. Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls, thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month but with no health coverage or other benefits.

It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night, when few offices of the US Government will be open. "Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the American Express call center, "stated

Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview." I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President someday."

A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not be a problem cause Bush was not familiar with the issues either. Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issues at all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson. "President Bush has used them successfully for years." Mr. Singh may have problems with the Texas drawl, but lately Bush has abandoned the "down home" persona in his effort to appear intelligent and on top of the Katrina situation.

Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final day of employment. Following a two week waiting period, he will be eligible for $240 a week unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed limit. Mr. Bush has been provided the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a new position due to limited practical work experience. A Greeter position at Wal-Mart was suggested due to Bush's extensive experience shaking hands and phony smile. Another possibility is Bush's re-enlistment in the Texas Air National Guard. His prior records are conspicuously vague but should he choose this option, he would likely be stationed in Waco, TX for a month, before being sent to Iraq, a country he has visited. "I've been there, I know all about Iraq," stated Mr. Bush, who gained invaluable knowledge of the country in a visit to the Baghdad Airport's terminal and gift shop. Sources in Baghdad and Falluja say Mr. Bush would receive a warm reception from local Iraqis. They have asked to be provided with details of his arrival so that they might arrange an appropriate welcome.